The Daily Life of Dogs and Cats


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:



8:00 a.m.

Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m.

Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a.m.

Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a.m

Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a.m.

Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 p.m.

Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p.m.

Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p.m.

Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p.m.

Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

6:00 p.m.

Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 a.m.

Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p.m.

Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:



Day 183 of My Captivity:



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must
try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair, must try this on their bed.


Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.


Hmmm, not working according to plan...


There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The Dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
wait -


It is only a matter of time......

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous5/12/2008

    Too funny! (and so true!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5/12/2008

    Bwwwaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

    You are sooooo........... witty!!!
    We all had some yippee's, and yahoo's!!

    xoxo
    the Reilly's

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5/12/2008

    It is so true!! And you are really good at that. :) Do more soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL!!Love the cat's view of mind!

    ReplyDelete